


dnd night for the losers club

by genebean



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, Dungeons & Dragons Campaign, F/M, Happy Ending, M/M, Roleplay, all around fun time honestly, dnd, it roleplay, not even that angsty, the losers club roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-11 02:52:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18421317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genebean/pseuds/genebean
Summary: this is a story roleplay i did with my best friend 3 months ago and it's unedited.YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW HOW TO PLAY DND TO UNDERSTAND LOOOOL MY BEST FRIEND DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY EITHER.i wrote EVERYTHING for richieshe wrote EVERYTHING for stanand we both wrote for eddie, bill, bev, ben and mike.BACKGROUND KNOWLEDGE YOU GOTTA KNOW!!! :richie and bill had sex LAST WEEK (they were drunk and bill was upset over stan).stan and bill had sex RECENTLY (sober).richie and stan both know that bill had sex with both of them. bill doesn't know they know about the other. (so bill thinks stan doesn't know about him having sex with richie and vice versa)beverly and bill aren't dating but they're 100% talking. they're kind of under the impression that they're dating but it's not official.





	dnd night for the losers club

**Author's Note:**

> agAIN SOME BACKGROUND KNOWLEDGE:  
> richie and bill had sex LAST WEEK (they were drunk and bill was upset over stan).  
> stan and bill had sex RECENTLY (sober).  
> richie and stan both know that bill had sex with both of them. bill doesn't know they know about the other. (so bill thinks stan doesn't know about him having sex with richie and vice versa)  
> beverly and bill aren't dating but they're 100% talking. they're kind of under the impression that they're dating but it's not official.

After stepping out of his mother's 1982 Ford Escort and telling her goodnight, Stanley takes one last glance down at himself. Wow, he thinks. I look fucking stupid.  Richie had told him to "dress like a cleric" but Stan had been at a complete loss when he'd gone through his clothes later that night. He knows the whole gang will look pretty dumb too, but something about wearing a cut-up and belted night gown straight out of his mother's closet under his regular raincoat seems a little too juvenile for his taste. Still, he's learned not to care when it comes to D&D night, whatever that means.  With his honey barbecue Lays in hand, he treads up Bill's driveway.

 

richie, looking down at his BEAUTIFULLY crafted, mid condition artistry whatever amazingly put together sorcerer costume, wonders if maybe... just possibly... he went a little too far out. he shrugs it off and glances at his phone that he shouldn't even have cause he's either 16 or 17 and it is 1978 (???). he texts one of his best friends, stanley uris, expressing his wonders of where for art thou, since he isn't at bills front door. after a few exchanged words stan asks richie to meet him by his mothers car, since he is afraid of the dark. richie groans and clicks his phone off, walking in the dark towards the front of bills lawn to greet stanley. he finds stan a mere 10 seconds later because the fucking house was literally 10 feet away. "sup faggot" richie says, trying not to express his excitement

 

"Hey," Stan plainly says. He gives his friend a onceover, quickly studying the elements of his...... costume. "You look, um... cool," he says, deciding he's going to try his best not to put Richie and the others down for their lame nerd interests. Looking around and seeing familiar bikes parked in front of the garage, where a car would usually be sitting, Stanley feels a sudden surge of nerd excitement and hopes it's not Richie's geekiness rubbing off on him. Stan can smell the lame wafting from him. "Is Bill's mom not home?" he asks and tosses his satchel that I forgot to mention in the previous paragraph over his shoulder, starting up the sidewalk.

 

richie turns on his heels to walk along side stan. "nope. just us nerds in a big empty house for the night. bill wanted to wait till you got here to decide where we would play though. so it's up to you if we're in his room or the living room." richie pushes up his glasses, taking the edge of them and ramming them deep into his skull. that was a joke. he simply just pressed them into the right place and opened the door for stanly once they had gotten to bills door. the loud voices of the losers already hitting richies ears once again.

 

A nervous feeling settles in Stan's stomach when Richie mentions Bill, even though he had just done it himself like 3 fucking seconds ago. "That's... nice of him," he mumbles. He takes both playing areas into consideration, his heart rate picking up when he thinks about stepping foot into Bill's room again. Probably not a good idea. "Why wouldn't we just play in the living room..?" he thinks out loud. It's a bigger space. Is Bill retarded? The loud shouts from inside snap him out of his anxious train of thoughts. "Wait," he gasps, turning his back on the doorway. "Here." He shoves the bag of bbq chips into Richie's arms.

 

as stanley RUDELy shoves his chip bag into richies arms, he falls back slightly. what the fuck is wrong with this kid "yeah i guess you're right.. i don't know dawg he just didn't want you to be upset or something? he seemed nervous for tonight-" richie hands stan bills doritos. "he really shouldn't be. he's dmd before." richie pushes past stan, flipping his scarf over his shoulder as he walks towards the kitchen where the rest of his friends are. before he enters the forbidden realm of Yulen (the adventures title since it is rthe name of the country where the losers adventure will be taking place) he looks back at stan. "you coming? i don't bite." he cheekily grins.   
  


 

He makes a disgusted face, you know, the face he's always making every second of his life, and shoulders his way into the house, clutching his doritos tightly. "You're fucking weird." Once he's inside, Stan stands still for a second, taking in the view of the losers crowded together on Bill's couch; Eddie shouting about something irrational, Ben shouting back at him and Beverly squished between them, staring straight ahead like she wants to die. Ben's tits are out, but Stanley won't comment on that just yet. He breathes in the familiar cozy sent of Bill's house. Mike is in the kitchen or something and Bill is nowhere to be seen. Probably gETTING READY ; ). "Where's Bill?" Stan whispers, leaning over so Richie can hear him.

 

"probably watching porn- man i don't know." richie takes a pair of scissors and cuts off the top of the honey barbecue Lays , later discarding the left over plastic top of the bag and putting the scissors back on the counter. eddie looks over at richie and discreetly takes a breath out of his inhaler. richie smiles to himself and notices how Beverly looks tonight. i cant believe bill chose that. he glances over at stanly in a... dress... that he saw stans mother in just nights before. then his eyes traveled over to beverly. over that... what a bitch ass. richie grins at stanly and shoves his face with chips. "god- fuck i haven't eaten since last night. your mom sure does make a bomb ass full course meal." richie winks at stan and continues to shove his face with a disgusting amount of honey barbecue Lays

 

Watching in terror as Richie opens the bag of chips with scissors like a maniac, Stanley's anxiety flares up again. His legs itch in the jeans he's got on under his... robe and he nervously takes into account how everybody else looks. He ignores the comment about the meal he missed in favor of fucking Beverly's boyfriend and begins fanning himself. "Why am I nervous?" he asks, popping open the bag of Doritos in his hands. He takes a deep breath. "I feel stupid. I don't think I wanna play. Can I just watch?" he says, almost as if every sentence was one whole word. The root of his problem is that Beverly looks pretty and it's making him feel jealous and horribly, disgustingly guilty, but he's pretending it's just a random spike of anxiety.

 

richie nearly fuCKING CHOKES as stan even SUGGESTS that he doesnt play. "FUCK NO YOU ARE PLAYING! i didn't spend 4 fucking hour asking you questions and designing your character for you to puss out because you fucked some small dicked pussy bitch who just happens to be under the same roof tonight. don't forget i did the same exact shit so we're both in this together buddy." his harsh whispers gain the attention of mike and richie flips him off before turning back to stan. "listen- just- calm down. you're pro-" before richie can finish his sentence, clanky footsteps come from the stairs. richies eyes travel to a lanky bill, who's decked out in... last minute dollar store halloween armor "well if it isnt the woman of the evening..." richie tips his wizard hat. "m'lady." he teases. bill scoffs, descending down the stairs the rest of the way.

 

Drawing his shoulders up in an effort to defend himself, Stan listens with dread as Richie grills him over some stupid board game. He's almost able to brush it off until........... he walks down the stairs. Sure he looks stupid. Sure he's actually never looked more stupid. But it's Bill. And right now, Stan thinks it's a little too soon to be in the same room as him. He inhales hard and then stuffs a couple of Doritos in his mouth, breathing out through his nose as he tries to calm down. He's going to cry. He's going to cry, cry, cry, he feels the tears welling up. He nearly chokes on his chips when Richie speaks. "Hi Bill," he manages to spit out, his voice cracking on the final syllable.

 

richie looks over at stan as he voices his pathetic 'hi bill'. how could someone sound so worthless by only saying 2 words. stans eyes look glossy as he looks at his chips. what do i do? rich walks up to bill and they exchange their secret handshake. "you ready to fuck up these losers?" richie laughs. "y-yeah they're gonna be sh-shaking in their s-soiled britches by the end of the night." bill says, earning a laugh from richie. rich then turns to face stan and walks up to him. "hey you wanna go out to the living room?" richie whispers in stans ear, feeling guilty for being pissed at him just moments before.

 

Stan stands awkwardly by himself and looks down so he doesn't intrude on the secret handshake. He rocks back and forth on his heels and watches the hem of his nightgo- CLOAK brush the floor, only looking up with Richie approaches him. He gives a small nod at his question, but the panicked feeling in his chest doesn't die down. On his way into the living room, following close behind Richie, he regards Bill with an awkward smile as if he hadn't just seen his DICK last night. He quickly averts his attention to the gaggle of geese (losers) in the front room. He hears one angry, loud, "HEY STAN" and nearly jumps out of his skin. It's Eddie, who after greeting him immediately goes back to pounding his makeshift short sword down on the coffee table and arguing about some gay wizard shit with Ben. Ben's tits are still out. What's happening?

 

richie looks over to see a confused and terrified look plastered on his jewish friends face. he nudges his side and explains a bit about the scene that is infront of them. "ok since you're new ill give you the ole 'richies tour'. so ben over there is a barbarian... which is like..." richie tried to think of words that a simple imbecile would understand. "a big guy who's... really strong." richie bites his tongue before he can go off on a lore rant. "beverly is a rogue. which is kind of like a thief." it's what all the girls pick to feel quirky. he thinks to himself. "mike is a paladin, like a soldier. and eddie is..." his eyes pan over to eddie... who's... uuhh... swinging his shortsword over his head. what do i even see in him. "eddies just fucking retarded. or to put it plainly, a ranger."

 

Stan shakes his head through the entire explanation. He doesn't get it. He's ready to go home. He looks to Mike in the kitchen, who gives him a shrug as if he doesn't understand either. "That's not nice, Ri-"   
  
"HEY FUCK YOU!" Eddie shouts, pointing a skinny finger in Richie's direction. "WE HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED PLAYING AND BEN IS ALREADY CHEATING."    
  
Amidst laughter and a combative rebuttal from Ben, Stan's head is reeling. He wonders if you can even cheat in a game of D&D. Besides that thought, he takes one look at Beverly, who looks him up and down in what he thinks is a knowing way and it makes him sick. Her lipstick looks neat. Stan needs a break already. After giving Richie a good luck pat on the shoulder, he makes his way into the kitchen, where he sets down his bag and the Doritos on the counter and simply prays that Bill will go straight into the living room.   
  


to stans dismay, bill doesn't. it's like he read stanleys mind. he goes straight to that motherfucking kitchen. "h-hey stan...ley." bill stutters like a goddamn peasant. richie watches from the living room, wondering if he should intervene. stan looks like he might cry. but why? what exactly happened last night that would cause stanley to endure this much pain.

 

Literally all they did was fuck Stan's just a crybaby. When he hears Bill's voice, he breathes a sigh and turns on his heels to face him. He leans against the counter with both hands in a way that can only be described as dorky and tilts his head inconspicuously to one side. "Hi Bill," he says again. A short silence is shared before he realizes he needs to say something else. "Oh, um, I got you Doritos," he says, turning and pushing them into view. "Hope that's... cool." He mentally slaps himself in the face. Of course that's cool. Bill loves Doritos. Idiot, idiot, idiot.

 

"oh yeah haha... thu-thank you stan." bill inches closer to stan. he wants to kiss him but mike is in the room, and he knows how stanley is. he's a nervous stupid idiot... idiot idiot idiot. "i'm glu-glad you came tonight. are you excited to p-play tonight?" bill asks.    
  
Meanwhile, tozier is in the living room dicking around with the rest of the losers. “NO MARSH- THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS- IF I ASK YOU FOR A SPELL MY SPECIAL POWER ‘infrendo’ WILL ALLOW ME TO OBTAIN IT FROM YOU IF I ROLE A PLUS 14 ON A D20 DICE. YOU STUPID BITCH.” the others laugh at the curly black haired sorcerer as he gets genuinely mad at the game of dnd

 

Stan clears his throat, feeling his face getting hot. His eyes flicker back and forth between Bill's eyes and his lips, terrified of the thought of him getting any closer. "Uh, yeah.. Hhahha," he stammers as if he's inherited Bill's stutter, "Kind..kind of. I don't know how to. To play, I mean. I've never. Um. I always just watch, you know." He forces out a laugh.   
  
In the living room, Eddie is LIVID. He's been waiting for this night for WEEKS and he's not going to let Ben ruin it with his chaotic evil republican viewpoints. Okay, he doesn't actually know Ben's political stance. Richie on the other hand, Eddie knows. His debate with Ben had been cut short by a sudden quarrel between the sorcerer and Beverly, who had made a single offhand comment about her spells. It had since flared into something much more complicated than that.   
  
"Quit being a dick, Richie," Eddie butts in. "Bev can play however she wants, she's a girl. Everybody knows that girls who play Dungeons & Dragons always get the last word, it's pointless to argue!"

 

bill looks at stan with pure LOVE IN HIS EYES...and lust cause he wanna fuck again. he laughs softly. "maybe watch richie a bit cause i-i'm your dungeon master. i wish i could help but i'm not e-even technically playing." bill thinks of what else he could say. "i could give you a few tips before we start playing though? or you cu-can sit next t-tu-ta-to me while we play." bills voice cracks while he spits out the word 'to' and he cringes internally.    
  
as soon as eddie had said those words with in his little stance and that goddamn cardboard cutout version of a minecraft sword, richie boiled with anger.the fucking audacity. “hey- mr kaspbrak. how about you put down your short dick sword and stop flirting with the rogue. the big kids here are talking. you’re short and stubby and the only people who actually have a chance at smashing faces with her are ben- and possibly bill if he stops being a whore and fucking other people.” richie says, annoyed, thinking of the intercourse bill had with both him and stan. ben trys not to grin at richies loose compliment as eddie glares daggers into rich.

 

"Oh, I don't wanna play how Richie plays," Stan says with a smile. "I'll definitely sit by you." He genuinely begins to feel a little bit more comfortable, since Bill seems to as well. Maybe even a little too comfortable, because by the time he's finished with his next sentence, he wants to die again. "Yeah, you could um, teach me.. a few things, if you want. That would be nice. Cause I um. Don't know how to play, and all." He fiddles with his thumbs, suddenly avoiding eye contact again. Across the kitchen, Mike is trying his hardest not to listen to the two as he pours drinks.    
  
Eddie smacks his cardboard sword on the coffee table in fury, shaking his other fist in Richie's face. "Call me stubby again, Tozier, I fucking dare you. I'm not playing nice tonight. And I'm not TRYING to SMASH FACES WITH BEVERLY, ALRIGHT? Get off your fucking high horse for two seconds! Jesus!" Sitting down in a huff, feeling defeated somehow, Eddie immediately wishes he wouldn't have gone off on Richie. It's just a stupid game. A stupid game that literally hasn't even started yet. Before he can make it right, Mike is walking into the room with snacks, saying something in a dad-like fashion that splits up the tension, thank GOD.

 

bill grins at stanley. he’s so fucking cute. “y-yeah i can teach you a lot…” bill wants to wink but he feels as if stanley would self combust so he refrains from it. “ma-maybe we should head out to the living room to start…” bill says quietly, looking at stans lips. before he can forge another thought, richie screams from the living room.    
  
“HEY- BUTT BUDDIES- LETS GET THIS SHIT STARTED ALREADY BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND AND DITCH YOU ASS HATS.” richies pissed. fucking ‘get off your high horse’??? He turns back and his eyes connect with eddies. “keep talking eds– someday you’ll say something intelligent.” richie finishes by getting up and sitting on the empty couch across from beverly.

 

FUCK, Stan thinks. He releases the breath he'd been holding, then looks over his shoulder (theres a cool little window cutout thing in bill's kitchen yknow what im talking about) to see the sad sight displayed in the living room. He gives Bill a discouraged look before gently pushing past him, their arms brushing JUST SLIGHTLY. In truth, he's thankful to be in an open space again. If he had stood there against the counter for another second he might have self combusted. When he walks into the living room, he's hit with a wave of terrible energy. He opts for a seat on the floor because he's scared of being in the middle of any of these people right now. He looks like a total child, waiting for Bill to take the spot beside him.    
  
Eddie sits back against the couch with his arms crossed, scooting over to make room for Mike. He considers moving over to Richie's couch for a second, but then remembers that he's mad at Richie and won't be doing anything of the sort ANY time soon. "Let's get this shit going, William." He hopes desperately that it's going to get fun eventually.

 

richie looks as bill takes a seat in the single chair in between the two couches. he turns to see stan on the floor and 3 empty seats beside him. he looks over to eddie. richie doesn't know why but his anger is turned to sadness for a moment because everyone is seated on one couch, even tho there is barely enough room for 3 people. whatever. he thinks to himself and looks at bill. he takes in a deep breath and goes back to being himself. richie picks up his character sheet and lays back against the couch, kicking his feet up. "yeah william, let's go before eddie loses anymore brain cells."

 

Feeling ABSOLUTELY betrayed by Bill, Stan feels awkward sitting by himself on the floor. He imagines Richie feels the same, so he hobbles up to sit beside him. After all, they've been there for each other (kind of, if you count screwing their crush) all week, so it's only natural that Stan keeps it up. He snuggles up close to him NOT TO BE GAY just to be comfortable and I mean that SERIOUSLY, Stan is a CUDDLER, OKAY.

 

“Hello fellow friends, foes… w-we are going to e-explore what is in between the covers of this book.” bill smiles widely and holds up his dungeon master playbook. “You’ve already had mu-many adventures over the course of the past few months. A-and overall… things are looking pretty good for you. B-BU-but last week, the lovely richi-” richie coughs as bill is about to say his real name. Bill grins slightly and shakes his head. “Richyke found a strange object. A mu-magical sphere. perfectly smooth except for traces of s-sss-strange spiraling s-sa-ss-symbols engraved on its surface.” richie fist bumps stanley even though stan is like what the fuck is happening. “You all took this strange sphere to a local pawn shop full of sages. And t-thu-those assholes had no clue what it was. B-bu-but they made up for this small disappointment by throwing a massive party in your honor. This is where you met…” bill picks up stans character sheet from the table. “Stanley Uri… would you like to introduce your cuh-character stan?”

Stan has no fucking idea what's going on. Some of the story is sounding familiar, but the majority of it, he doesn't remember. He starts to panic again as Bill hands him his character sheet that he absolutely did not write himself. "Uhh. Yeah. Do I just.. read it? I." He receives multiple nodding heads. Keeping in mind that nobody's going to judge him except for maybe Eddie, who seems to be taking this game unnecessarily seriously, he starts to read his character sheet. "Umm. This is Stanley Uri. I...I'm Stanley Uri. That's me, I guess. He's uhh. A cleric. As you can see," he tries, lifting his arms and motioning to his beautifully crafted attire. It earns him some stupid catcalls from the others and he smiles a little. "I uhh was born in...... N..on..." he squints, struggling to read Richie's handwriting. "Mississippi." At this, Mike cackles, and suddenly Stan is REALLY feeling D&D night. His friends??? THINKING HE'S FUNNY? HOLY SHIT! He starts to go into depth about his imaginary family, but Eddie cuts him off.   
  
"ALRIGHT, STANLEY, THIS ISN'T AN EPISODE OF THE ADDAMS FAMILY WE ONLY NEED TO KNOW YOU."

 

“Very nice character stan.” bill smiles whole heartedly. HE LOOKED LIKE HE ENJOYED IT “while you are all partying, a fellow guest comes up and offers you all his famous ‘drunken ba-bastards beer belly’ beer. All of you tu-take it and party for uhh- 7 hours or so-” bill cackles to himself.    
  
“light night for us.” ben laughs. Richie refuSES to laugh  at such a feeble and horrid joke.   
  
“after you all pu-party for what seems like a whole d-day, this man tells you has more beer like th-the one you drank the night before. In a small state called Nontrayos. which the state stans from. other than Mississippi. (He can recognise it if he chooses to) and in that state lies a small tavern call the Pegasus Broad S-tt-stock. beside that small tavern happens to be a sages quar-quarter(i forgot to say but sages are like those pawn star guys they tell you what magical items are n shit). Maybe possibly while you are there you could ask them if they know anything about your s-spuu-sphere.” bill flips a page in his history notebook- I MEAN VERY PROFESSIONAL DND BOOK THAT He has, and moves on to where they are all in the tavern. "you all ar-aru-arive at the Pegasus Broad Sto-ck. while you are here a very vu-veRY drunk man comes up to the lot of you and sees beverlys characters, Beventrial. bev he tells you that yu-your outfit is very nice. he looks to be well into his 40s." bill looks up at bev.

 

"what're saying bev?" richie asks, already annoyed by the response she has yet to give.

 

"She tells him to fuck off," Beverly says pointedly. "Then sticks him with her shiv and ganks his loot." She puts emphasis on every final consonant, making sure Richie understands that she'd rather be shivving him. Whatever the repercussions are, she doesn't care, cause she's dating the dungeon master and can have her way. She thinks.    
  
Stan has to cover his mouth to keep from laughing at this geeky shit. He listens intently, even when Eddie butts in to tell Beverly that she shouldn't do that and that she'll fuck it up for the rest of them.    
  
"It's not that easy, you can't just fucking shank him," he exclaims in his quick way of talking. Beverly flips him off. Stan finds himself laughing for no reason at all.    
  
"Can I shiv someone?" he asks.   
  


"yeah no- come on guys let's just let the red-head kill someone."  richie scoffs.   
  
“I forgot to mention but the pegasus is pu-packed. Like its a very b-busy night. There’s a place in the middle, between th-the bar and you guys, where th-the tables are cleared away from dancing.” bill butts it. "so it would be hard the shank him without ru-ruining the rest of the party. al-also. yes you can shiv someone stan." richie does finger guns at bill and looks over at beverly who seems to be glaring at him.    
  
“what is it princess? annoyed your boyfriend is talking back to you? well do i got a dirty little secret to tell yo-”

 

(bills mom if she was home rn:

)

 

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, RICHIE," Stan blurts. The room goes silent. He thinks to himself for a second, wow, nice job Stanley. Look at you, asserting dominance. But with everyone's eyes now on him, he can feel his face getting red. "Let Bev stab the guy."    
  
Beverly blinks, shaking off her shock to instead turn her attention back to Bill.   
  
"Fine," she says. "I guess I'll just accept his compliment. May I redact the stabbing?" she asks dejectedly.   
  
As if a light switch was flicked on, the room returns to its previous state, with everyone focused again on the game. Everyone except for Eddie, who's making vexed eyes across the room at Richie. He knows what he was about to say, and he doesn't like it. Not one bit.   
  


"so yu-you're stabbing him right?" bill asks bev.

 

"No. That's fine. I won't cause a ruckus," Beverly says. She's obviously disappointed.

 

"uugghh you can if you fucking want bev. if you fuck us over that bad i can just use a conceal spell to hide his body before anyone can see.." richie says, seeing her faace and the way it saddened after her words.

 

"Only if you're sure," she says, OBVIOUSLY EXCITED THAT SHE GETS TO STAB SOMEONE. She rolls an 11.

 

"11? ok uhhh umm. so you stab the guy bev. and his blood is now all over your torso." bill states, if only she had gotten a 15 or higher, then she wouldn't had been left with this mess.   
  
“ok i’ll roll for my cover up spell. i have to use a d20 die.” richie picks up his dice and looks beverly directly in the eyes. “watch this sweetheart. i’ll show you how a pro rolls his dice.” richie shakes his dice in his hand, giving them a good shake and blow before he throws them in a box on the table. The die clatters around in the box before landing on a 18 and then softly turning over to show a 2 facing upwards. Richie breathes out a low ‘fuck’ and looks up at bill. “i just got ass fucked by a dice.”

 

"Not the first time you've been ass fucked," Stan comments, almost under his breath, just loud enough to earn a "GIMME SOME SKIN" from Ben, followed by a high-five that's a struggle from across the table.    
  
Beverly looks down at her fancy outfit and gasps the fakest gasp she could possibly muster up.   
  
"Oh no!" she wails with the acting skill of an underpaid porn star. 'Whatever will I do with this blood all over my torso?!"   
  
Stan thinks it's funny, Eddie doesn't.   
Mike is asleep.   
Box of white cheddar cheez-its in hand.

 

“I was the one doing the ass fucking- trust me- i bet you were too.” richie exclaims. “Am i wrong?” he snaps as stan opens his mouth.   
  
“Well… richard-”   
  
“Richyke. don’t use that tone with me, william.” richie says, placing his head in his hands.   
  
“Richyke.” bill looks annoyed. “yo-your spell badly backfires and sends you flying out of the tavern into the street. but -lu-lucky for you, a parade is hap-happening right now! and you are now in it. Theres an a-b-abundance of horses g-galloping over your small te-testicles right now.” bill holds back his laughter as richie takes deep breaths, lifting his head up.    
  
“nice going rich. you sure did show bev.” ben laughs to himself.   
  
“shut up you spastic dipshit. At least my i’m not as stupid as my character.”

 

"Wow, Rich. Way to get your balls stepped on, am I right, boys?" Stan says. Another high-five from Ben. Stan pretends that Richie isn't on the verge of spilling to every person in the room that both of them have fucked Bill Denbrough in a single week. He puts one elbow on the couch's armrest and rests his chin in his hand, looking at Bill with soft eyes and waiting for the next bit of story. He can't believe he's actually having fun.    
  
Meanwhile, Beverly celebrates with a strange dance move that looks like a sneeze, then fixes up her lipstick with a thumb.    
  
"Alright," Eddie says. "Let's keep going, I'm sick of hearing you guys arguing."

 

“So as i was say-ss-s-saying. You all- oh w-wait you’re covered in blood bev-”   
  
“I have a spare change of clothes? If you want them…” ben offers nervously.    
  
“It’s a fucking game stop being nervous.” richie scoffs.   
  
“E-excuse me… richyke… it seems you aren’t in the room right now so why d-dont you sh-shhh-shut your mouth.” richie rolls his eyes and turns to stan.   
  
“I don’t know what you see in that stuttering asshole.”

 

"I'll take them Ben, thanks," Beverly says to Ben quietly amidst the drama that's happening.   
  
"What?" Stan asks, whipping his head around to look at Richie. His yamaka damn near flies off. "Wh-" he can hardly get his words out. "What do you mean?" he asks nervously. He could have played it off as a joke, but Bev isn't paying attention anyways, and his mouth is working quicker than his brain is. "Shut up," he says seriously. "You're so weird." He draws his knees up to his chest and leans against the armrest, covering the side of his face that Bill can see with a hand. "Just keep playing, Jesus Christ."

richie instantly feels bad and he sits straight up on the couch. “I get up from being trampled by… motherfucking horses… and i come back inside.”   
  
“rich… h-how nice of you to join us!” bill smiles cheekily. Richie forces a smile back.   
  
“great to be back.”   
  
“Ok well what do y-”   
  
“I would like to go to the front of the bar and ask for a mimosa.” ben says, glancing at bev.   
  
“good job ben… being an alcoholic to get the ladies.” richie leans towards stan and whispers his next words. “i mean that’s how her dad got her anyway.”

 

Beverly offers a snort to Richie's comment to make him feel better about himself, unaware that he'd said anything else until Stan speaks up again.   
  
"Shut the fuck up, Richie," Stan says in the first real bout of anger he's felt tonight. "Actually shut the fuck up. I know you're mad that Bev can pull off a dress and you can't but just be quiet for one goddamn second." He sits still, holding the same position he had been and staring straight ahead at the set of dice on the table. His expression is nothing short of irate.    
  
"Woah, Stan," Ben says gently. "It's cool, he was joking."   
  
Stan glances up at him for a second, realizing nobody had heard Richie but him. Great.

 

Bill clears his throat. “a-anyway..”   
  
“Can i walk up to the bar and ask about where the sages headquarters are?” eddie asks, almost exhausted.    
  
“Y-yeah surre. you walk up to the b-bartender and he greets you with a nice hearty hello.” bill clears his throat before acting as the bartender. “ _“hello my good boy! You look a bit young to be in a bar”_  "he laughs. " _“how can i help you?”_ the bartender smiles at you and he seems to hold a story behind his eyes.”   
  
“Hello fine sir! My name is Edduson Quicksterry. I am here with my friends-” eddies motions to his friends in person before he finishes speaking. “And we are trying to find the sages headquarters.”   
  
“ _“oh well they’re just next door! I can have my daughter show you the way.”_ ”   
  
“Thank you! That would be quite lovely.” eddie smiles and turns to richie, expressing his excitement.   
  


"a very VERY beautiful woman with shoulder length blonde hair walks from behind the counter after the bartender yells the name 'merideth'." says bill. 

 

"I wanna flirt with her-" richie says.   
  


"richie no." bev objects.   
  


"its richyke- BEAVERly. let me flirt with her bill.”   
  


"fine.. o-ok... role a d20 and a-add your persuasion modifier." richie roles his dice once again.   
  
"FUCKING CHRIST-"   
  


"w-what'd you get?"   
  


"a 3..." ben says, holding back his laughter.   
  


"merideth laughs... but not at your horrid pick up line. y-you had failed to notice a piece of toilet paper hanging o-off your foot... it was there your whole journey to Nontrayos."

 

Stan wants to laugh. He really wishes he could. But he can't be fucked to, because Richie has put a real damper on his mood. He wanted to go to Bill's house, dress up like a gay wizard and have a good time, but Richie is doing what he always does. Richie is talking. And nothing is more infuriating to Stanley in that moment than the sound of Richie's voice in his ears. He's barely paying attention to the story now, just waiting until he absolutely has to speak. He needs some fresh air. Or a drink. Or both. But he's pretty sure Bill's mom isn't an alcoholic.    
  
"Hey, I'm gonna step outside for a minute," he murmurs to Bill without making eye contact.

 

richie watches stan stampede past him. his eyes shoot to bill. "what'd you do, hotshot?"   
  
“More like what y-you fucking did.” bill says angrily. “Let’s take a 10 minutes break. For snacks.” bill contemplates getting up, and just as he’s about to ben comes over with an abundance of questions.   
  
richie looks towards the door and slowly gets up. maybe it was cause of the bev joke… i wonder if he wants to be left alone.

 

Sitting on Bill's porch in his mom's nightgown all pissed off, Stan feels a little stupid. He's not sure what he's currently feeling, but it's nothing good. He doesn't know if he wants comfort or an apology or to simply be left alone, he just knows he couldn't breathe on that couch. And all over a stupid nerd game he didn't want to play in the first place. Spectating is always better and he's known that for a long time. Why didn't he just sit this one out?   
  
In the house, Mike has finally been shaken awake from all the shouting.   
  
"Huh? Wh- Fuck. Y'all want baby carrots? I chopped up some baby carrots... Where's Stan?"

 

“he’s um… outside.” richie says, making advances to the kitchen. richie never has been great with apologizing but today… he had to become familiar with it real fast cause stan was outside probably crying his little jewish eyes out.    
  
as he got to the front door he hesitated. what if stanley kills me…. nah he would never. rich opens the door and ascends into the cold. he spots stan almost immediately. quietly closing the door behind him, he goes over and sits beside stan. "hey... stan."

 

Stan doesn't look at him. Or speak. Or breathe, nearly. He just sits. He knows Richie is just going to say some dumb shit and leave him crying outside. He doesn't care for that. He just wants to go home. If he hadn't already made the commitment of staying over, his little jewish ass would be long gone. After thinking for a moment, he cracks.   
  
"I'm fine, Richie. Go inside," his tone is flat. "I'll be in in a minute."

 

“listen stan i know you probably don’t want to hear my annoying ass voice right now but… i’m sorry. I don’t know if it was my beverly joke… or my other beverly joke. Or my ass fucking joke… or my joke about you and bill- or my other ass fucki- ok my point is i am sorry i ruined your night. you seemed to be having fun but then i opened my big- stupid- bucked toothed mouth open. so i just… sorry.” richie looked over at stan and got up. “I’ll sit on the floor from now on.” he turned to walk back inside.

 

When Richie stands up to leave, Stan rolls his eyes harder than he's ever rolled his eyes in his life. Great. Now he has to tell Richie it's okay when it's obviously not okay; nothing is okay and nothing has been okay since the day he came out of the womb, GOD CAN'T STANLEY JUST DIE?   
  
"It's okay," he says just before Richie can shut the door. "I just needed a minute." He wants to say something else, but he's at a complete loss for words. So is the person writing for him. Take it away, Richie.

 

richie looks back into the house, seeing his friends laughing comparing them when he looks back at stan. He quietly walks back outside and shuts the door, wondering if stan had thought he had gone back inside. “it’s not ok stanley. if you haven't noticed, and honestly if you truly have not then maybe you need to get your head checked out, i’m an asshole. I’m not the nicest. I don’t think before i say things- i was never taught to. And don’t even get me started on my sense of humor. I know i say horrible things but… yeah there is nothing else to say. Nothing comes after the but.” richie tries his best not to laugh at the word but. Butt hahaha. Richie refrains from his laugh but the person writing for him doesn't. “I try… really. Sometimes, at least. I don’t say everything that i think of in this fucked up head of mine.”

 

Stanley sits for a long time, taking in Richie's speech, one of the most genuine things he's heard from that guy in a long, long time. He finally looks over to meet Richie's eyes. Those big fucking eyes. Those weird fucki- Stan purses his lips in that way white people do, dropping his head slightly to avoid looking at him for too long. When he really thinks about it, the problem isn't anything Richie hasn't already apologized for. There's an underlying weight on his shoulders and he's sure that it's got something to do with Bill and the first joke Richie had cracked when the game started, but he knows he won't be able to keep going if he doesn't just fucking let it go. With that in his mind, he looks Richie up and down.   
  
"You look like a retard in that hat."

 

richie blinks a few times and pushes his glasses up. he loosely smiles. "at least i'm not wearing a fucking yamaka."

 

"Don't even start,"  Stan says, punching Richie's arm softly. "Maybe if you were a proper jew you'd be wearing one too. Not some gay wizard hat," he jokes.

 

richie pretends to wince. "ahh ouch. with that joke you've got my family sittin' shiva."

 

Stan laughs a genuine laugh like he'd been doing earlier, mumbling something like "fuck off" between bouts of GIGGLES. He stands up and brushes his gown off, breathing a long sigh as he turns to face Richie.    
  
"We should go inside," he says. "I'm cold."

 

richie smiles and wraps his arm around stanleys shoulders. “i know man its fucking freezing.” richie takes his arm away and opens the door. the house is strangely quiet. from where he is, the living room looks empty. “where are those lose-“   
  
“NO- NEVERMIND! IM NOT DOING THAT. I pick TRUTH.” A voice screams from upstairs.   
richie looks at stan with a confused look. (we’ve been roleplayING FOR 9 HOURS)

 

Stan lightly brushes his shoulder off when Richie pulls his hand away, no homo, y'know? He's ready to get back to Dungeons & Dragons-ing, but upon hearing the scream when Richie opens the door, Stan's stomach drops. Oh god... No... They can't be... Not...   
  
"Um," he starts. "You know what? I might actually sit out here for another little bit."

 

richie grabs stans hand without thinking. no home tho, y’know.    
  
“no no no i am not going up there alone. you’re not sulking out in the cold like a pussy, you got me? if im doing this so are you.” richie didn’t wanna drag Stans boney ass up those stairs. but he would if he had to.

 

"Richie, I do not want to play that fucking game," Stan says, practically begging, but Richie is already dragging him inside. "Please, I'm serious!" Stan would rather get frostbite on his dick than play truth or dare. Sure, the losers play it all the time, but just like everything else they play, Stan likes to sit out and watch. He likes to laugh at OTHER'S pain, not his own. There's not a game in the world Stanley Uris hates more than truth or dare. Fuck, he'd rather play Twister. Naked.    
  
When they're finally up the stairs, much to Stan's disliking, they're met with Bill's open bedroom door. Fucking Christ.   
  


without letting go of Stanley’s hand, he had led him up the steps to bill’s room. It’ll be fine he kept telling himself. Stan must be terrified. bill and him had just done the devils tango last night in that very room. and even tho stanley was a pussy, he had to be there for him.    
  
standing in front of bill’s open room made Richie nervous too for some reason. but as he did with most of his fears, he told himself to stop being a little bitch and looked inside. and god fucking damn he really wish he hadn’t. Bev and Eddie had locked lips in the middle of a little cult circle that the losers had made up. Richie tightened his grip on stans hand and turned to him.    
  
“Yeah how about we both just sleep outside-“   
  
“Richie! Stanley! We were wondering where you two went.” Ben said. Richie turned to face him. ben you fucker.

 

At the exact same time he feels Richie tighten his grip, Stan does the same thing, clenching his jaw as he takes in the scenery before him. What a fucking mess. It's scarier than the house on Neibolt. He feels his heart pounding in his chest. The dim lighting along with the cult circle and haunting image of Edward Kaspbrak kissing Beverly Marsh make for a terrible sort of nightmare sequence. He wants to go home.    
  
"What the fuck are you guys doing?" he barks out. "You guys all know how this ends, you just wanna suck face!"   
  
He scans the room, searching for a single shred of dignity. His eyes land on Mike, to whom he asks, "you too?!" and he's given a shrug. Stan shakes his head in disbelief, then he looks to who he's assuming is the culprit. Bill.

 

richie whispers his next words to stan as eds and beaverly fucking marsh break apart. “listen stanley.” richie says brokenly. he inhales deeply and then remembers who he is. he’s richie goddamn tozier. He lets go of Stans hand and starts to take of his robe. “we’re in high school. Maybe this is a what high school is all about?” he kicks his shoes off and takes stan by the arm, leading him into the room further. Eddie looks at richie, terrified and confused. And Richie just looks back at him like he hadn’t just had his heart broken. he takes his free hand and grabs his hat, tossing it on the bed. “it’s not a party without tozier.”

 

MAYBE THIS IS WHAT HIGHSCHOOL IS ALL ABOUT?!?!?! Stan thinks. A TRUTH OR DARE ORGY WITH YOUR 6 BEST FRIENDS AT A D&D PARTY?????????? He watches Richie take off his hat, afraid for a moment that he might start stripping. When he doesn't Stan is hardly relieved. He's never been so overwhelmed in his life, and he's had his fair share of near death experiences, mind you, they all have, so why can't Stanley be like them? What about his stupid little jew brain makes him so terrified to join in on clusterfucks and games of twister? Genetics, he decides. He thinks for a second, then takes another glance at Bill. Yeah, okay.   
  
"What the fuck ever," he mutters as he pulls his stupid nightgown over his head.

 

richie pulls stans stupid gown from over his head. “trust me ok. i would never let anything bad happen to you. (hehe neibolt)” richie looks at the empty seat next to eddies and opts for the one next to bev. “come on stan the man. you can just do truths if you want.”

 

(STAN TOOK IT OFF LIKE HE WAS STRIPPING IT WAS A MOMENT OF 'STANS NOT BEING A PUSSY ANYMORE' HE'S NOT HIDING HE'S READY TO FUCK)

 

With that childish look of defiance that seems to be constantly plastered on his face, Stan stands at the edge of the bed, willing to play but absolutely not willing to get any closer to any of these cretins.    
  
"Okay," is all he says.

 

“Your turn eddie. I asked you so now time for you to ask.” Mike smiles. so it was mike....    
  
“Ok... um... bill.” Eddie turns to Bill Denbrough and Richie looks at stan. “Truth or dare”

 

Stan scoffs. This is completely juvenile. He considers walking out, but he MAYBE just MIGHT be interested in what Eddie has in mind for Bill. He'll never say that though. He gives Richie a look of apprehension, the nervous feeling in his gut never dying down.

 

Richie liCKS HIS LIPS HAHA. Eddie thinks for a moment after bill says ‘d-dare’    
  
“Hmm ok. I dare you to take off that godawful dollar store Halloween armor?” Richie boos him.    
  
“How boring.” Richie says, leaning back on his hands. Bill does as Eddie say and takes off his plastic. Armor one by one   
Richie wonders why Eddie would have agreed the the dare he was given before Richie walked in   
Was even was so great about Beverly   
That was a good dare tho   
Props to that dickhead mike

 

"Thank god," Stan and Beverly say in unison. They look at each other in shock, even though there's not much room for shock in here, but Stan brushes it off with a laugh, so Beverly forces one too. Cause that armor is ugly, Stan thinks. He watches Bill slowly take off that stupid fucking armor.   
  
"Speed it up, Magic Mike," he blurts out a movie reference that doesn't exist yet. Mike is confused.

 

Richie looks at stan. Where’s this new found courage coming front.    
  
“Ok mr Denbrough your turn.” Richie says.

 

bill quickly eyed the yamaka wearing loser member. should he ask him that fateful truth or dare question? he had to chose quickly cause the rooms eyes were still on him.    
  
“stan… truth or dare?”

 

Stan nearly chokes. Fuck. Here we go. He runs over his two options very quickly in his mind, thinking that Bill couldn't POSSIBLY do anything detrimental to their.... friendship, and with that, makes his decision.    
  
"Truth," he squeaks out.

 

bill taps his right index finger on his knee, as if to show that he’s physically thinking. “Hmm…” should he ask his go to question of ‘have you ever farted in an elevator?‘ or is that too… innocent? “got it… who do you think is the worst dressed person in this room?”

 

Stan nearly sighs in relief. Everyone already knows he's completely willing to point something like that out. Easy peasy.   
  
"Ben. Easily. He's hardly even dressed."    
  
Ben makes a barbaric motion at him as if they're going to throw fists, and Stan puts his own up. This isn't so bad... I'm good at being honest. But then he realizes.   
  
"Oh shit. I guess it's my turn now, huh?"

 

Stan scans the room, tempted to just pick Richie and do something stupid, but he knows everyone would complain. Just play it safe, Stanley. Stan, play it safe. Stop. What are you doing. Stanley-   
  
"Bev," he says. "Truth or dare?"

 

"dare. duh." bev says, smiling widely. bill can tell she's excited and smiles himself.

 

"Um... Okay, fuck. I didn't really think.. Uhhh." Stan looks around the room. "I'm really not good at this, um." Profanity. Profanity is funny. "I dare you to um.. open Bill's window and uh.. yell something really inappropriate."    
  
He cracks a pitiful smile as if to say sorry, I come from a conservative household, and shrugs.

 

"oh ok." beverly laughs and hops up and walks over to bills shitty window seal. before she opens it she turns around to face the boys. "any ideas?"   
  
“how about-”   
  
“not from you richie.” beverly rolls her eyes. her blue- no greenish orbs land on ben and she cocks her eyebrow.    
  
“uuh- um? maybe just…” ben starts to say.   
  
“i’ll just- say whatever comes to mind.” beverly turns and opens the window. taking in a big breath. “I EAT PUSSY. HOW DO YOU LIKE ME SO FAR?” she turns back around with a big smile on her face, returning to her seat and winking at whoever is to the right of her. which i think is richie. i don’t remember. "oh shit my turn." she scans the crowd oooffff suprised boys? confused boys? idk what they looking like but they looking fucking sweATY.   
  


"Bev's a carpet muncher," Eddie whispers.

 

richie laughs a bit too loud

 

EDDIE SMILES. YES…

 

"mike. truth or dare?"

Mike looks behind him as if Beverly weren't talking directly to him. When he turns around and she's still looking at him, he gets excited."Me? Uhh, dare?"

 

"i dare you to take off your pants. plain and simple."   
  
“let’s hope he wore a thong tonight.” richie purses his lips and looks at stanley.

 

Now, I know what you're all thinking. No, Mike's too shy! Mike's not gonna take off his pants! But you're wrong. Mike Hanlon loves a good dare. And so, he starts unbuttoning his jeans.   
  
"Oh Christ," Stanley murmurs, shielding his eyes. He feels heat rising to his cheeks again, realizing finally that yes, this is a game of truth or dare and yes, Mike is stripping. He wants to go home. So badly. He hears the shuffling of fabric and in the next second, he glances up and Mike is standing in striped boxers and the top half of whatever shitty costume he put on that night, much to the enjoyment of his peers, who are hooping and hollering.    
  
"Come on Bev, you coulda done better than that!" he jokes. Then immediately, as if he hadn't just ripped off his trousers in front of everybody, turns to Richie. "Rich. Truth or dare?"

 

“come on mikey, obviously i’m choosing dare. it’s in my nature.” richie smirks and leans back on his palms.

 

Typical Richie. Typical, typical Richie. Mike whistles and rubs his palms together like he's psyching himself up for a marathon. Eyes jumping from loser to loser, a smile starts to form on his face.    
  
"Now Richie," he starts, his voice similar to that of a sports announcer, "we all know that you find many, many people attractive. Too many. What I'm trying to say is.. you're a manwhore." This earns a laugh and a few claps from Eddie, who wheezes something along the lines of "YEAH, HE'S A REAL SLUT," but he immediately quiets down upon hearing the dare. "I dare you... to kiss the person you find most attractive...... in this room... right now... at this very second......... in here on this day."   
  
Stan groans. Eddie's eyes dart back and forth between Richie and Mike. Oh fuck.

 

“damn mike. didn’t know you grew a pair of balls over the summer.” richie smiles and looks at bills mirror by his dresser. “too bad i can’t choose myself.” richie thinks for a moment and decides. obviously he wants to kiss eddie, really badly. but… he’s not gay. even with that in mind... his choice has to be-   
  
“choose already, rich.” ben says. richie eyes him mischievously.   
  
“you know what, hanDSOME-” richie says, tweaking ben's last name just a smidge. “-just because you said that.” richie quickly crawls over to the bare chested boy and puts his hand behind the brunettes hair. he pulls his lips to his own for a short, almost completely fake, passionate kiss. he pulls away with small ‘pop’ and sits back down in his seat. he winks at ben, whose eyes are wide, and then looks at eddie. “truth or dare, eds.”

 

What? What the fuck? What the fuck. Well, of course Richie didn't kiss him. Richie doesn't like him! It's obvious. How could anyone in the entire world possibly think that Richie Tozier would have any sort of romantic attraction to Eddie Kaspbrak? It was completely stupid of him to get hopeful in the first place. BUT BEN? Eddie is at a loss for words. An absolute loss. He almost doesn't hear Richie ask him, and he blinks a few times to clear his head.    
  
"What? Fucking... truth, I guess," he says in a huff, obviously a little fed up. He knows whatever Richie asks him isn't going to be anything out of the ordinary. Richie is always the same. Fucking Richie.

 

richie takes off his glasses and cleans them with the front of his robe. but he doesn’t even bother to put them back on. “what is your guilty pleasure? -i’m asking for future reference.”

 

Eddie splutters for a moment. What? What the fuck does he mean guilty pleasure? Could he..... NO NO NONONONNO, EDDIE CANNOT SAY THAT! Maybe... OH GOD, NO! What does Richie think he's trying to do?!   
  
"I Love Lucy," he lies. Sure it's a good show, but he only watches it when his mom puts it on. "That was stupid, fuck you, Richie." He quickly averts the situation, not wanting to spend any longer on his turn.    
  
"Who's Lucy?" Mike asks, genuinely concerned.   
  
"Bill," Eddie says. "Truth or dare."

 

richie rolls his eyes. “who's got you all flustered- oh wait.” he laughs and cracks a small worthless joke to stanley.   
  
“truth please. y-your guys dares scare me.”

 

Stan gives Richie a small smile for his effort, but doesn't get the chance to say anything, because Eddie is shouting at the top of his lungs like he has room in them to be doing so.   
  
"BILL. WOULD YOU RATHER FUCK STAN OR NOT FUCK STAN BUT HAVE EVERYONE THINK YOU FUCKED STAN," he rambles without even glancing once in Stan's direction. Something about Richie singling him out gave him a rush of aggression.   
  
"What the hell?" Stan pipes up with the most defensive tone humanly possible. "Why me?" He knows why. They both do. Stan wonders if Eddie is doing this on purpose. He's still standing with crossed arms, refusing to become part of the bed-cult-circle.    
  
"SHUT UP, STAN, I'M ASKING BILL, NOT YOU. ANSWER ME, BILL."   
  


bill looks at richie and stan. those assholes probably fucking told eddie. that’s the only reason eddie would even think about asking this question. richie looks at stan, who’s becoming red as a beet.    
  
“eddie-”   
  
“shut the fuck up, tozier.” eddie looks back at bill.   
  
“i mean… i guess i-i-i wo-wu-would fff-f-fuck stan… cause… i don’t know!” bill refuses to look beverly in the eyes and instead looks at ben. “tr-truth or dare ben.”

 

Stan cannot believe this is happening. He's sweating so bad he thinks he might melt through the floor and he can't bring himself to look at Beverly either. She's starting to pick up on something but she won't say it.    
  
Ben is absolutely oblivious, even still a little dazed from Richie's sudden assault. He turns his attention to Bill, who's visibly flustered, but he can't quite figure out why.   
  
"Dare," Ben says firmly.

 

“i d-dare you to spend su-s-seven minutes in heaven with anyone of your choosing.” bill says without thought. he seems kinda pissed. richie thinks.

 

"Uhh," he hums. "You guys know I'm straight, right?"   
  
He looks around the room for a proper contestant, but with this dare in mind, genuinely can't focus on anyone but Beverly.   
  
"Bill, I don't know if that's really-"   
  
"COME ON, PUSSY!" Eddie shouts.

 

When Beverly finally meets his eyes, she looks perfectly indifferent, giving Ben an apathetic shrug. He assumes that if they go through with it, the most they'll do is sit and talk. But as long as its Beverly, it's absolutely enough for Ben.    
  
"Um... Bev, if that's.. okay with you?"   
  
Beverly simply clicks her tongue. She pushes herself up from Bill's bed and begins making her way to his closet, motioning with a hand for Ben to follow behind.   
  
"Come on, big guy."   
Stan is in FUCKING disbelief.

 

"who would have thought ben would choose the redhead with tits." richie looks around the room for laughs.

 

Eddie glares. Stan's face is set in stone. Mike offers up an awkward laugh.   
"Maybe we should take a break," Mike says, suddenly bashful about the fact that he's not wearing pants.

 

"great idea. here we have it folks, the worlds first black einstein." richie says. "wanna walk with me downstairs to get chips." he asks in stans direction.   
  


"Yeah," Stan mumbles. He doesn't wait for Richie to get up and he doesn't look up as he makes his way to the door.    
  
Eddie sits with his legs crossed on Bill's bed, his chin resting in his hands in a thoughtful way. What the fuck is going on here?

 

richie quickly follows stan and immediately after they're out of the door sparks up a conversation. "what the fuck are eddie and bill doing." he whispers.

 

"I don't know," Stan says, dragging his feet along the carpet. "I'm not staying over if they keep it up. I'll walk home. I can't imagine why Bill's being such a dick."   
  


as stan and richie are walking down the stairs, eddie looks between mike and bill. "what the fuck just happened." he asks the two boys.

 

"Dude, don't fuckin' ask me, alright, you guys are being weird as hell," Mike says. "We need an intervention in here or something." He pauses. "Shit, it's chilly."   
  
He stands to pick his pants up off of the ground and tug them back on. Bill can't come up with a good answer, so he only shakes his head. Maybe truth or dare hadn't been the best idea.

 

"you like stan?" eddie whispers the obvious. bills eyes widened.    
  
“fucking- i-i-i don’t know. you k-know all the facts too. what do you think.” bill shifts uncomfortably.   
  
“i think you do… i’m sure mike thinks so too.”   
  
“yeah it’s pretty obvious bill.”   
  


"w-whatever. don't even get me started on you and richie." bill says to eddie, looking at the ground

 

MEANWHILE

"wanna go see whats in bills mom dresser." richie asks, stopping at the middle of the stairs.

 

Stan narrows his eyes, thinking for a second that Richie could maybe for just a second have been thinking about something rationally. But why discuss an obvious and crucial issue when you could dick around in Bill's parents' room?   
  
"Why would..." Stan sighs. "Sure, Richie." He takes a moment to lean against the railing of the staircase and breathe, taking in the realities he's been faced with tonight.   
  
"I'll be there in a second."   
  


richie laughs and punches stans arm lightly, running back up the stairs. "LAST ONE THERE IS A GAY WHORE."

 

richie arrives in the room and looks around. this room? so nice. better than his room. he immediately looks in bills moms closet. he finds a satin robe and for some reason, this girly womanly clothing item made him think of eddie kaspbrak   
then he wonders what the fuck stan is doing

 

Stan is fucking crying.

Just kidding. He makes his way up the stairs once he's calmed himself down. On the way down the hall, he takes a split second glance into Bill's room, where the three are still sitting. Just as Bill looks up, Stan covers his face and keeps walking.    
  
Turning the corner into his friend's parents' room, he finds Richie with a robe clutched in his hands.    
  
"You're such a pervert. What the hell are you doing?"   
  


richie continues to stare at the robe. "this shits fucking soft man." he chuckles and puts it back, moving on to the dresser. he opens the top drawer and gasps dramatically. "NO FUCKING WAY-"

  
richie grabs the object between his thumb and index finger, lifting it for stan to see.  "it's my slingshot she took away from me last time i was here. it was in HER panty drawer- so who you calling a perv now."

 

"You dipshit," Stan says, snatching the toy out of Richie's hand. "She had a little faith in you, hiding it there. But no, you proved yourself by finding it." He tosses it back into the drawer and then shuts it, a little uncomfortable in the presence of his best friend's mom's underwear.    
  
"Go through any drawer but that one," he mutters and turns his back on the dresser.

 

"well excuse you." richie opens the drawer back up, snatching the slingshot and pocketing the item. "i'm gonna shoot bill..." richie started to close the drawer but stopped. "oohoho is it too fucked to shoot him with his mothers granny panties?" he lifts up a white pair of undies in stans face.

 

Stan puts a defiant hand between his face and the underwear, turning his head to give Richie an unamused glare.    
  
"Yes, Richie. It is."   
  
When he thinks about it though, it's kind of funny. A small grin plays on his lips.   
  
"He might deserve it though, after tonight," he says, lowering his voice in fear of thin walls.

 

richie throws the undies up and catches them mid air. "let's hope i'm a good shot without my glasses." he closes the drawer and motions stan to follow him out the room. BUT before he leaves he gives stan a quick peck on the cheek with his lips. the lips he used to kiss ben just minutes before. he treads down the hall and presses his back against the wall next to bills room. the talking from inside gave him a good idea where everyone was. he could feel stans eyes on him, obviously thinking of how stupid this was. but richie didn't care. bill was kind of being a dick tonight. and stan shouldn't have to deal with that. richie readies his weapon, balling up the panties and without even thinking, richie flips into the room with a low battle cry. he fires towards the middle of the bed to what seems to be a very dark haired figure. hoping it's not eddie, yet kind of hoping a bit, he whispers to stan wherever he is. "did i get him."

 

Stan had immediately ducked towards the stairs, both trying to avoid another homoerotic advance from Richie and because the barbarian scream had scared the shit out of him. He thought they were supposed to stay quiet. After Richie's question comes a short lived silence. Very short lived.    
  
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?" comes the shrill cry from Bill's room. Of course.    
  
The underwear is tossed out of the room like a bullet, flying right off of the stairs' balcony, and stomping after it is Eddie.   
  
"ARE YOU A FUCKING MANIAC?" he shouts. "ARE WE IN FIFTH GRADE, RICHIE? BILL'S MOM'S UNDERWEAR? REALLY? WHAT'SWITHYOUANDOURMOMS..." he's never going to shut up.

 

"hoW MANY APOLOGIES DO I HAVE TO GIVE TONIGHT!? iT WASN'T MEANT TO HIT YOU EDS I WAS SUPPOSED TO HIT BILL-" richie runs out of the room and towards the stairs, not before colliding with stan. "fuCK- soRrY! EDDIE WAIT!" richie steps quickly down the stairs.

 

"YOU FUCKING CRETIN! YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING BUFFOON!" Eddie is long gone, ready to grab his cardboard shortsword and stick it straight through Richie.    
  
Stan sits at the top of the stairs, having fallen flat on his ass after Richie had bolted after his little gay lover. He scoots over until his back is against the wall and he can bring his knees up and hold onto them. He watches from between the railing as Eddie threatens Richie with his play-sword, seeming to be only half joking.

 

"are you kidding... eds thATS A FAKE SWORD THAT YOUR MOM PROBABLY HELPED YOU MAKE." richies hands swung in the air while he tried to grab eddies stupid fucking stiff and moderately thick paper. eddie was swinging hard and fast though so maybe this could actually hurt rich. "god are you always so fUCKING stupid or is today a special occasion!?"

 

"MY MOM DIDN'T DO SHIT, THIS IS ALL MINE," Eddie insists with pride. "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME. YOU CAN'T CATCH ME."   
  
He makes plenty of jabs, sticking Richie a few times, hopefully not fatally. He's going to give himself an asthma attack if he doesn't stop, but he's completely riled up. He stands on his toes and holds the sword above his head as if it adds anything to his height. Richie could easily take it from him.   
  
"Come on? You want this sword?" he teases. "Take it, then. TAKE IT, SHORTIE."

 

richie stopped dodging eddies attacks and squinted his eyes at the sword. "listen you vertically challenged midget. you're gonna give yourself an asthma attack if you don't knock it off." richie grabbed eddies sword (wink wink wonky donk) and pulled it behind his body. (idk how to make this make sense. basically he grabs the sword and he has the sword in hand and his hand is now like at his waist.) eddie, being the stubborn stupid bitch he is, doesn't let go.

 

Eddie's bony knuckles are pale with the best grip he can manage with only one hand, his other palm flat against Richie's chest in an effort to keep his balance. He doesn't comprehend the situation until he looks up to see Richie's stupid, goofy face staring down at him. His heart jumps up to his throat and he almost considers giving up, but Eddie knows what he's about. He's too stubborn for his own good.   
  
"Give it up, trashmouth," he hisses despite the tightness in this throat.

 

richie, who's hand IMMEDIANTLY went to eddies waist as soon as eddies hand hit his chest, is glad right now that he's nearsighted, cause that's the only reason he can see the look on eddies face. this stubborn little shit "sorry, wheezy- not happening anytime soon..." richie soon gets a devious look on his face. his mind.. OH so powerful. "unless... little miss samwise gamgee gives me a kiss." richie smirks and readjusts his grip on the sword.

 

Eddie is ready to HEAVE. He stares up with wide eyes, somehow shocked that Richie would even suggest such a thing. He brushes it off as a joke.   
  
"You would," he says, squinting in an accusing manner. "Just give it back, idiot."   
  
He gives a few tugs, but when Richie doesn't budge, his thoughts start racing. What the fuck? Is he serious right now? No way. Or maybe he is. What? No. What? His mouth hangs open in a dumb expression of uncertainty, eyes darting between Richie's lips and his eyes, sporting no glasses and looking a lot more appealing than usual, mind you. He really wants to whore himself out for the hundredth time tonight? But still-   
  
"Come on dude, just..." his voice gradually becomes quieter as his hand, with a mind of its own, trails up to tangle itself in Richie's hair.

  
“i always have to do everything myself- don’t i.” richie snakes his hand around eddies waist so that his large palm is now on his smaller friends lower back. he cranes his neck down, with heavy help from eddies hand pulling him, and presses his chapped rosy lips against eddies soft peach-toned lips. as if it was his sign of kissing back, eddie met him half-way by standing on his tippy toes. this felt natural to richie, in some way, even though he had never kissed anyone with the intent of kissing them again. at least he hoped eddie had felt the same way. (and by that fcuking hand in richies hair i THINK HE FEELIN THE SAME WAY) after a few moments of their lips moving against each other, eddie pulled away. most likely because the tips of his toes started to hurt from him standing on them for a prolonged amount of time. am i supposed to say something?? eddie thought for a moment but before he could spout a stupid cliche like ‘wow’ or even ‘why did you do that’, richie opened his big dumb fucking mouth.   
  
“you’re too much work for your own worth, kaspbrak.”

**Author's Note:**

> f ;)


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